Monday, August 29, 2005

Grumpy Husbands

Did you read the "Grumpy Husbands Need Love Too" testimonial? And the one that followed, entitled "Sincere Praise is Not Manipulation?" Don't wives give their husbands at least a hug when he comes home? Wow! Do you think that maybe our self-absorbed, me-first, meet-my-needs-before-I'll-meet-yours act is what is causing so much unhappiness and divorce? Hmmm. We really need to consider this, ladies. I would almost bet that most of us have those steady guys who work day in, day out with people who couldn't care less about them personally. Everybody out there is already looking out for #1. They're not going to give your man any appreciation, except maybe the office manager or crew foreman in his annual job performance review. Oh, but there is one person who might give him some attention, just in case you don't: that cute little gal that's his secretary, or the sleek, made-up co-worker who always looks and smells so good, or the clerk at the corner gas station who probably isn't as pretty as she is friendly. She'll say good morning to your man when he stops to get his coffee (because you couldn't get up to make it for him or get the coffee pot ready last night, because you don't have a nighttime routine). The co-worker will tell him what a great job he's doing on that project he tried to tell you about last night, but you couldn't listen because you were chatting with your friend, or you were too tired, or you were getting your work done . . . or whatever. That secretary will do things for him (to keep her job) that you won't do because "he should be able to take care of himself, he's a big boy; I'm not his servant." Why don't we see these things before it's too late?

I'm not making excuses for men who commit adultery and/or leave their wives. He is personally responsible and accountable for the choices he makes. No amount of bad behavior on your part excuses bad behavior on his part. But . . . how much easier for him to come home and forget all those other women when you meet him at the door with a warm hello and a warm hug and kiss. How much more exciting home is when he knows that there's a woman there who thinks he's the greatest man to ever walk the earth. Of course he makes mistakes and does bonehead things! But so do you! Things like sitting at the computer all day instead of getting off your franny and getting something done, for example. How much more fun it is to come home to children who are excited to see him (because Mom has gotten excited that Dad's coming home). Yeah, it's a feminist's nightmare, but it's a man's dream . . . and far too often, his unrealized fantasy.

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